pajarita | inbox (eudio)

[Not that far into his mouth that he can't get away with it. She moves on quick, because as far as Raven is concerned, mothers don't make family. It's sad, let's take a moment, but move on.

If their people are the family they've got now, then Raven's just left hers behind, selfishly. But, it's not the case for her yet; they're her people, and she'll make deals with the devil for them, but she can't call them family yet. Finn still needs to be that someone.]

Did she? That's great.

Yeah. [ and bellamy doesn't sound so weighted down by anything when he says it. yeah can mean so many different things, but within this moment, it's bellamy's elation that o's here in eudio with him. he nods his head, as if that will successfully stave away his smile, but whenever it comes to octavia, it's a little hard for bellamy to pretend he's not happy or pissed. ]

At least I don't have to worry about her. [ even though bellamy will, regardless. it isn't so much his job as it's merely him wanting to make sure o knows she has someone here. ] She's here. You're here. Clarke's here. [ he shrugs a shoulder. ] This place can't be that bad. [ since bellamy doesn't want to leave it sounding so profound when it's simply the truth, he adds with a rise to his brows and his fork gesturing to the leftovers before him, ] Especially when I get free food.

[Oh, Bellamy, you sweet summer child. She snorts and looks away, because yeah. You don't have to worry about her here, nope. Not in cuddle city, not with the array of condoms and sex toys and guys and girls looking for some good time. And your sister, who is a babe, will have such bad luck getting some good time here. And your sister, who's probably as stubborn and dedicated about fullfilling the contract, if she's here, is so going to - you know - get some.

Not a worry about her.]

Hey, you also get money every month, so next one can be on you.

[ and all bellamy finds himself worrying over is living. it isn't cuddling, so much as it is fulfilling his contract — he supposes he will, somehow, someway, he doesn't try to think on it as he expects every touch he earns right now will be one that's as sharp and hard as the mountain men had treated him — as it is trying to provide for his family, the girls who have found themselves being approached by the eudio representatives and accepting an offer he doesn't fault them for not refusing. ]

[ he's almost cleared his plate, having not realised how hungry he was. he doesn't think too much on it as after he swallows he presses his lips together and nods. to him, it's a deal that he can hold up his end of the bargain for, even if she's just joking. ] It's got to beat a janitor's salary. [ all seriousness and bellamy being bellamy aside, he thinks to joke — except, again, not really. his tone is easy, but his words aren't necessarily a joke as he knows he wants to pay her back for this. whatever this happens to be. ] I saw they were selling some icecreams along the boardwalk. Maybe that can be your treat for this.

[If she figures out how to not worry over living, she'll let him know all her secrets.

She's not sure what it is. Back on the Ark, Raven didn't have enough food for herself, let alone to be inviting others to eat with her or to share her leftovers (what leftovers?). On the ground, eating had happened automatically, out of need and not pleasure. Maybe that's it; she's discovered the pleasure of eating just for the hell of it, just to try new tastes and she wants to share it with him.

Because he's the first one she's seen from their world in months, and because unlike Clarke, Bellamy had probably been close friends with hunger too.

Whatever the case, watching him finish off her food feels nice.] I like ice cream. [So that's not a no.]

[ bellamy's used to sharing, but more often than not his idea of sharing had been to give o most of his rations and pretend as though he wasn't starving. it'd been a habit he had fallen into while on the ground, one he still thinks he won't be able to really shake, even if they were all to walk into a buffet that magically refilled itself as they inhaled almost everything offered for them to take. it's different for him to be on the receiving end, odd and a little hard, to tell the truth, as bellamy isn't used to anyone looking out for him. ]

[ he isn't so sure if he wants to acknowledge what he feels. it isn't dread, it isn't annoyance, it's not anything remotely close to what he had felt too many times while on the ground. something swells inside of him, and, for once, it isn't a pile of stones trying to sink him and defeat him once and for all. he looks at her before he lowers his gaze, glad that he has a fork in hand and a little bit of lasagne left to use as an excuse to remove his gaze from hers. ] When you're not busy, we should go down there. I kind of like the beach.

[Unfortunately, the thing about Raven now is that there are still so many cracks that will turn into big, consuming holes once you step on them, and her mood can sink like that. Instead of making a joke about how quick he is to get his game on, or ask if he's practicing on her, her stomach drops and her gaze drops too.]

Right, the beach, [is murmured, as if to herself in admonishment; it's where everyone ends up wanting to go. Her gaze flits to her brace, and she brings one hand down to run her fingers along the designs.]

You're going to have to wait on that. [She glances up, quickly.] I'm still saving up money for materials to make a water-resistant and sand-compatible one.

[ if bellamy's meant to act oblivious to how her gaze drops, lifting his own in time to watch her deflate before him, then he honestly thinks he sucks at it. over the last seventeen years of being the big brother to octavia, he's learned that sometimes picking up on those cues — fallen expressions, a drop in a tone, a sigh, or even a shove at him — means he's probably stepped on a landmine. it shouldn't surprise him he does, given he doesn't try to go out of his way to treat raven like she's some cripple. ]

[ sometimes he even forgets about her brace, too focused on how loud she is in both tone and her step as she walks around like she's the one who created the world and can easily destroy it, before he remembers he's the reason she can't feel anything in her leg. ]

[ his gaze drops for a brief moment before he looks at her once more, determined to not wallow in his own self-loathing for putting her in the situation that had seen her shot. ] You know the beach isn't just water, right? [ he arches his brow, as if to lighten the mood, reminding her that the beach isn't enjoyed just for its water. ] There's sand, a pier ... Unless you're not interested in looking at a good view.

[Also unfortunately, her mood drops and picks itself back up with quickness in almost all issues except for a select few. But here, now, she can appreciate that there's no big deal made about her brace.

And maybe he can be charming, in his own way, not that she's noticing that.]

The pier's fine. [Though honestly, she wishes she could get in the water at some point. And maybe, at some point, she will.]

How'd you find out about the ice cream on the pier, anyway? Made friends?

I bought some crap. [ it's the simplest and truest explanation he can give her. while he hadn't known he'd be getting more money in the next month, he'd chosen to spend some of it to make himself stick out less like a sore thumb and blend in, just like he'd done so in mount weather. (he's kind of glad no one had to die for it.) he'd gone for a walk, scouting eudio out, to only find himself window shopping before he was actually shopping. in truth, bellamy wanted to get the hell out of the shit he'd been wearing back home. he still feels grimy, but he can brush it off with how fresh he feels with some new pants and shoes and a shirt. it's not the whole nine yards of being pampered and feeling like a new man, but it's enough for him for now. ]

[ the way he speaks, it's like he's reading an inventory list from the ground. we've got guns, bullets, tents, knives ... he doesn't sound so invested in it, like this isn't a new experience for him at all. ] Got some clothes, picked up a book, and I got talked into trying hot chips or whatever they are. [ he knows what they're called, but he doesn't want to act like he'd been memorising every route he could see and walk along in the city, just in case there was an attack in the near future. ] Fed it to the birds. They seemed hungrier.

Thought that was a new shirt. [She takes due note of that, and nods because it makes sense. That's what she'd done, too; scouted the city as best as she could, gotten talked into buying a lot of fast food, and figured out she'd want to end up working with cars by the end on the first day even. The other things - toiletries, showers, snacks and booze - were discovered later.

Some things, she still doesn't know what to do about. (See here: makeup and dresses.)

The corners of her lips lift up again; he fed nachos to the birds, didn't he?]

I'm sure we figured out that's only a matter of perspective. [Pointed look to your empty plate, loser. You hungry loser.]

[ given he only seems to wear a couple, bellamy's not the type to hold it against her for not noticing anything different about him. it wouldn't be the worst thing she could notice, anyway. he's just glad he thought to get rid of the white uniform rather than wear it for days on end until he couldn't get any mud stains out of it. the questions she's bound to ask, why he's lost the dark blue, why he's not wearing his leather jacket, why he's sporting something that looks like a guard's uniform — he's rather avoid all of it. ]

[ he does his best to bite back his own smile, amused, even if he should be a little annoyed she's called him out for essentially not taking care of himself. he looks up at her, ] When someone offers me food, I'm not going to say no. [ and he's not going to say no when it's someone from home, maybe in need of company just like he is. as much as he wants to be left the hell alone, he knows it's the worst thing he could ask for himself right now. ]

[ he continues to grip his fork, even though it's useless to him right now. as if he's reciting from one of the many stories aurora told him, he speaks as if it's fact, rather than him just teasing her, ] Paying for it's a different story.

[She lets out a snort at that; see? He's proving again that they're alike, a fact that she hasn't had difficulty in believing until now. It's just a little reasurring, that they're both pretty messed up.

She shrugs.] Just pretend not to have any idea what food people are talking about when they mention it, it'll make them treat you to it out of some need to educate you in tastes around the world.

That's what's worked for me, anyway.

[ he isn't sure if he should expect such cunning from raven, but, then again, she's the girl who knew how to take down a bridge not even the nuclear apocalypse had been able to destroy. it shouldn't surprise him, but it does, for some inexplicable reason. maybe it's because it's the least serious thing that raven's said in ages, something that isn't tied to a grounder war or taking on the mountain men or her trying to posture she's tough when he thinks she believes showing weakness and aggravation at her leg makes her look like she's made of the softer stuff. ]

[ bellamy laughs, and it's not quiet for once. he's taken aback; the loudness to it and the way his smile lingers, the incredulousness to the arch of his brow, is enough to inform her he hadn't been expecting that bit of advice or even that confession from her. ] How long's that been working for you?

[That is -- has she ever heard him laugh? Ever? Not quiet, but loud and the lingering smile? They both seem to share the same surprised look at what just happened, though Raven feels her own more accutely. How many of the 100 has she heard or seen laughing honestly? She remembers Finn's laugh... She thinks she remembers it.

Her amusement flickers, smile falters for a moment; she shrugs it all off and ducks her head finally, a little sheepish.]

I'm running out of things I haven't tried out.

You could always try and trick different people. [ he lifts his shoulder, as if it's such an easy fix to her problem. he places his fork on the plate before him as he leans back, as if he's truly thinking of ways to go about strategising how she can con more people into buying her things. ]

[ looking at situations like they're some war plan is a hell of a lot easier than doing, or being, anything else. bellamy's not used to talking to people in normal situations. there's always a sense of urgency to their conversations, a need to fix things, to outthink people more attuned to war. he'd had moments of smiling and laughing and being a kid who didn't have the weight of the dropped ark kids on his shoulders, but even that had been destroyed by their pressing problems. ]

I'd guess getting a hug or whatever would make it worth it if you got something for free out of it.

[Call her crazy, but maybe paying for stuff with hugs or whatever doesn't appeal to her so much, given her family background. She scrunches up her nose at the thought, but smooths down the raised hackles.

They just need to figure out, eventually and with time, what a conversation without the memory of the Ark sucking ass would be like. (See, five months of not talking very often with Clarke has helped. You're ruining everything with your face.)]

Come on, shooter. I'm sure you've got enough moves in that head of yours to figure out ways of getting hugged here that don't involve tricks. [Wouldn't work out well for him in Eudio, anyway. It's got to be consensual and all, so yeah - she's talking about your Game.

Never forget, they have boned.]

[ if the eudio representatives had approached him before they'd thought to abandon camp, before he and finn had ended up stranded outside of the drop ship and in need of getting the fuck out of dodge before the grounders were toasted, he thinks he'd have an answer for her. he knows his response would be arrogant, maybe something akin to who he had been when he'd looked at her within her pod and eyed her radio, unsure if he wanted to pull her out or take what would screw him over from her. in the end, he'd left her, but it was only because he knew sometimes moving people who had crash tackled the earth may do more internal damage than good. ]

[ but he's fresh from mount weather and being tortured to hell and back, and bellamy's not so sure if he wants anyone touching him for the time being. he knows he wants his deal to be met without any hiccups, but he thinks maybe he'd overestimated how well he'd react to anyone coming near him who wasn't someone he already knew. it's weird, accepting a deal that's a little softer than what his mother had chosen to put herself through for the sake of surviving on the ark. ]

[ or maybe he's just overthinking shit. ]

[ folding his arms over his chest, bellamy knows he's been too quiet for too long, even if it's just been a breath. he gazes down at the table before he looks up at her. ] I found asking for a hug on the network got me a few bites. Figure that's a step.

[If you're into bites.

She offers him a small smile, lips pressed tight together, and doesn't make a further comment of it. It's his business what he does with his business, right? Everyone in Eudio is here to get some 'physical intimacy' going on and give the city its much-needed energy. Everyone's got a price they're willing to pay for whatever they need back home.

If he's looking for judgement, he won't find it with her.

She stands up, and takes the empty plate off the table to dump it in the sink next to the container it'd been stored in, because she needs something to do with her hands. And with her brain.

So she doesn't say something reckless and stupid and easy like,] If you ever need... [Just because she knows how he looks naked already and wouldn't it be quite simple? She did use him without a second thought, and afterwards he'd proven to be more resillient than she'd expected, not holding it against her. Saying he didn't care, and caring.

She holds her back towards him deliberately, as she searches for a clean glass to fill with water.] I owe you.

[ if anyone owes anyone anything, it's bellamy to raven. in the beginning, he thought she owed him, too. but he'd allowed himself to be whatever it was she needed at the time, understanding that she was hurting. bellamy didn't want to know about it, he didn't want to be involved, and yet, he finds himself almost knee deep in it, even after finn's death. he doesn't look out for raven because he thinks her to be fragile or as reckless as she had been that night, but because it's the right thing to do. he can't quite say if letting her use him in a manner he doubted meant so little to her was the right thing to do, but at the time, it seemed to be. ]

[ he's kind of glad she's gotten up and has her back to him, even though he watches her as she moves. it's on the tip of his tongue to correct her and remind her that he owes her. if it wasn't for her, he thinks he'd be dead from asphyxiation. if it wasn't for her risking her own ass underneath the drop ship, murphy would've been able to introduce proper anarchy to the camp. but he doesn't think to say it, believing they'll end up in some back and forth on who owes who what and for why — and bellamy doubts she wants to hear that he blames himself for her leg. it's just another added weight to burden her with, and he doesn't want to be the guy who sees her sink when she seems to be swimming perfectly fine in a city that treats her better than the ark and the ground ever has. ]

[ letting his gaze drop, he remains quiet for a few moments. he doesn't look to her, even though he knows he should, but he feels slightly awkward, being confronted with a memory he sometimes dwells on. there has been bigger fish to fry since that night, distracting them both, and bellamy had been slightly grateful for it as he hadn't wanted to mean anything to anyone, on the ark or on the ground. his voice is quiet, ] You really don't owe me anything, especially not that. [ he thinks to tell her she saved his life in mount weather, being the lifeline to the outside world, believing in him even when he had no clue what the hell an actuator was. he looks to her when he says, ] We're even.

[To her credit, she doesn't drop the glass full of water in her hand when that whole thing happens. She also doesn't stutter, fluster, or feel small in any way and that's why she knows that even when she'd been all for making bad choices, she'd chosen well in choosing him.

She sets the glass on the table near him, and ends the conversation topic with a solemn nod. Even; alright, they can be even. That's good.

Fine by her.]

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