pajarita | inbox (eudio)

[ it doesn't take much of a genius to figure out octavia isn't close to being the grounder that they've all come to know, but bellamy still feels overwhelmed with fright at the realisation she doesn't remember much of anything. for once, he doesn't know what to do, and so he falls back on a tactic that's always served him mediocrely well — being overprotective. ]

[ if anyone understands not wanting to know much about the future, it has to be raven. ]

I need to talk to you about Octavia.

i promise not to get her in trouble or injury
where do i need to sign?

[ ... ]

Can you be serious for one second?

i'm always serious, bellamy

[Joke aside, she's serious. Keeping Octavia safe while she's in Eudio would always be a priority on Raven's list, whether she said it out loud or not. It was Bellamy's sister, to begin with - his family - and they were close enough. Or at least, Raven would've thought they were close enough, except Octavia doesn't seem to share the opinion, so she doesn't know.]

what do you need to talk about?

The last thing Octavia remembers is the drop ship camp. We were all sick; she made a deal to save everyone. She doesn't remember anything else — the Grounder attack, the alliance, or the Mountain Men.

[ purposefully, he keeps any emotion out of his message, generalising her deal for being in the city. he'll take octavia in any way — as a young girl, grounder, uncertain of what comes next as she only recalls how the camp had been set to conquer the grounders. but it doesn't mean he's not unsettled by how octavia returning to the city doesn't follow the usual pattern. ]

[Oh. Well - see, that explains why they're not close enough, in Octavia's opinion, but that also leads to a lot of timeline discrepancies. She still hesitates in answering Bellamy, because she knows where this is going, what he's probably going to ask of her.]

and you want to keep it that way?

Yes.

that's going to require a lot of work, a lot of headache, and a lot of biting you in the ass if she finds out

Then I'll deal with it. She finally has the chance to be happy and I'm not going to take it away from her.

[There it is, the 'anything for Octavia' side of him. She can't even pretend to be surprised. And as for judgement?]

so what do you need of me?

Don't tell her about the Mountain Men or what Murphy did at the drop ship. The Grounders attacked, our plan worked, that's it. One less thing for her to worry about.

good thing my leg's fine then.

[she sends it before she can rethink that message, then feels guilty for the reminder, somehow. (what, are they supposed to forgive Murphy next? is she?)]

sorry
what if she asks about finn?

[ bellamy flinches; despite her forgiving him and clearing him of being guilty over her leg, he still feels it, stubborn to rebel even when it's meant to be best for him. ]

Killed by Grounders.

You can be pissed at me for this. I know it's unfair and I know it's a lot, but didn't you once not want to know anything about what happens? There has to be a reason why they approached her this early on, and I think it's because she's going to stay longer than before. I can't risk losing her for the third time.

[In this farce, there are so many things that have been erased, for Octavia's sake. Their story, Finn's, her own pain; she should like it, for the lack of pain, but it sinks like a bullet through flesh for him to answer that, to sound (read?) so dismissive of the one moment that wrecked her.

Killed by Grounders.

If he were facing her right now, he'd know how much that stung, and how much she feels, suddenly, like punching something. Instead, there's a clipped,]

i didn't want to know what happened next because i thought i would die
but fine
this is fine

No it's not.

well what else do you want me to say?

I don't want you to lie to me. Figured we were better friends than that, Raven.

I know it's a dick move, but I don't know what else to do.

you just want me to lie to your sister for you
which i'll do
i get it - keeping her in the dark will let her be happy for a while, bellamy, i don't deny you that
but if she ever finds out the truth, you'll drive a breach between the two of you that not even sudden war will manage to mend

it's not a dick move, it's a you move
i just can't believe i'm going along with it even if the thought of pretending like everything that happened didn't happen makes me
fucking angry

You think it's better to tell her half her friends are dead? Lincoln ends up in trouble? We get betrayed by the Grounders? It's too much. She's going to either go home to try and fix it all or she's going to take it upon herself to make a deal with the representatives to prevent it all from happening.

I'll tell her everything. Just not now. She's never had the chance to have a life and she gets one now. I'm not taking it away from her again. I want her to have that chance and she's going to get it.

i said i got it, bellamy
i said i'd do it

You want to tell her anything, I'll deal with the fallout.

what, you don't believe i'll keep up my promise?

No. I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do again.

first of all, what 'again'?

and second, you're not forcing me
i was gonna help you anyway, okay?
i don't like it - fuck, i hate it, but it's just the one part of the lie i hate - and eventually there'll be a fallout, but you're not handling it on your own

I went into the mountain with only you and Clarke feeding me information about what was happening outside. She told you not to tell me Octavia was in Tondc with the Grounders, and you didn't. You trusted her to make that choice to not tell me because you both knew I wouldn't focus on disabling the mountain if I knew Octavia wasn't at Camp Jaha. You don't think I was pissed? But she had a point.

inbox (eudio)

TEXT. A FEW HOURS AFTER O ARRIVES.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.

txt.